Desperate Driver

One of my goals this year was to learn how to drive. Isn't it so sad and embarrassing to know that as old as I am I cannot operate a car!!! I’ll see ladies younger than me cruising in their posh ride and I’ll just shake my head. Well I refuse to take all the blame for not knowing how to drive. I’ll give 50% to my father.

You see, I went to a boarding school and then did my first degree outside Nigeria so basically those years were not the best time to learn how to drive. When I came back to Nigeria to do my NYSC I finally decided it was time to learn this thing! I went to a driving school, as there was no one in the family who had my time. My instructor thought I was a quick learner and I was pretty excited about the whole driving experience. One day my dad asked me to drive the family to church and men the car (a Volvo) refused to work o. Anyway I managed to drive us to church but my father was lamenting all the way. He was like “you this girl, you cannot drive yet ”. That’s how my dad believed I was not any good and refused to release any of his cars for my use.

I didn’t worry too much as I got a job in Lagos and forgot all about driving. Seeing how people drive crazily in Lagos discouraged me profoundly from pursuing my driving career. I neglected the whole thing till I felt the urge again…you know seeing all those Lagos babes in their Rav4 etc. LOL. Anyway at this point, I asked my dad to sell me his 504 (I know, I know, very razz, but I was getting desperate at this point). Anyway the man went back and forth over selling the car to me. To cut the long story short, he didn’t sell me the car. You can see why I am putting half blame on him although i think he was scared I'll probably have an accident or something. Anyway I fashied (forgot) his side and went to another driving school. I was really determined that I had to know how to drive. I was coming to the UK to do my masters and I felt I had to learn this art of driving before leaving. I got similar comments from my new instructor that I was a natural driving blah blah.

I got to the UK and once again didn’t get round to driving. Well those who live in the UK know how it can be. You can’t drive without a license. Actually people do but it is against the law and I didn’t want to start thinking of the consequences if I was caught and besides I personally think it is wrong. I did have an international license from Nigeria but somehow didn’t get to driving.

Ok fast forward to two years later- beginning of 2008. As part of my goals for the year, driving and getting my license was at the top of the list. I had had enough and felt I had dragged this whole driving thing for too long. Kilode??? (Why??). Bus drivers that might have not gone to school can drive, so why can’t I. Correct babe like me. I was like aloted, this is the year o. You have to get your license and get driving!

So in April I enrolled in a driving school (kai, yet another one) and had to start from scratch. Learning how to drive and then pass the driving test is another ball game in the UK. At this point I was wishing I was back in Nigeria where you just use bold face to “enter” the road. Abi practice makes perfect. But over here, you have to do a theory test before you can take the practical test. All that procedure didn't really bother me, it was the money I had to pay for driving classes that was biting me. Do not be deceived, learning to drive in the UK is EXPENSIVE. In fact, it is an investment. Heck that was why I waited till April to get into that financial commitment.

Nawa o, this story is getting long o. Hen, hen, where was I? Ok I started driving classes and was beginning to feel confident again about my driving. I even mentioned it in one or two of my ten things Tuesday. I took my practical test in June and I failed it! I was quite devastated. I knew at this point I could drive but the driving test was so nerve wrecking I fumbled. On a consoling note, only about 35% of people pass their first time. But still I was really gutted! All that money! Kai! That was mainly what I could think about. Husby was really cool about the whole thing. He believes till this day that the examiner purposely failed me (cuz am a black girl init? LOL)

Ok, don’t worry, I am nearly done with my story. So I took a month break and decided to ditch my instructor. I didn’t have any issues with him actually but I felt I needed a second "view". At this point I also considered going the easy route- doing my test with an auto car, but I felt that was accepting defeat. Why should I not be able to pass my test with a manual, meanwhile if you pass the auto test you are restricted to driving only auto cars. For all you auto drivers, you cannot really drive o..just accept it now now..LOL, who cares abi? Anyway I got another instructor who taught manual and I was glad I did. DI (driving instructor) seemed very passionate about teaching how to drive and kept on going on and on about how many of his students passed first time and how he loved his job. This actually boosted my confidence. I took fewer lessons with him, ta le fe je ni gbese (I had no more extra money to dash (give) anyone).

I was feeling really on top of things, and felt more prepared for my next test. Days before my test, I had been praying seriously for favour with the examiner because I really didn’t want to go through all of the driving test after this time.

I felt nervous again, I tire for me and nervousness o, such that at the beginning of the test I could hardly feel my legs and I was like “oh no, not now, legs you have to perform o”. I made a blunder on one of the manoeuvres and in my head I was like ye I don fail (I have failed) but I kept at it and my legs felt better. I made sure I kept doing my mirror checks (people fail primarily for this reason- not checking their mirrors and blind spot). I wore dangle earrings so the man will know when I make any head movement. LOL.

Anyhoo we got back to the test centre and the guy was like “Is this your first attempt” and I replied “No, my second”. He goes “Ok I will give you a pass, but you know you nearly messed up there”. Omo I felt like kneeling down and prostrating for him at the same time. I PASSED!!!!! Tears of joy came streaming down, I felt like saying one conc Yoruba prayer for the guy but I just kept my cool. He gave me a blue paper to use as a temp licence and wished me all the best. I was so excited I hugged the DI…hehehe. He was pretty happy for me as well.

Hubsy was so excited for me, he took me out later that evening to celebrate. Meanwhile, guess who the first person I smsed to share the good news- My dad!

My sms: How are you sir? Just wanted to let you know I took my practical driving test today and I passed! Thank God. So I am now an official road user.

His reply: My dear daughter, I am proud of you. Congratulations. When next I come to Britain you will come and pick me from the airport

Dreading this already..LOL!!!

THANK GOD OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I DON PASS!!!