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15 Aug 2008

“Make Time” Woman

Looks like so many bloggers are either getting engaged or married…Am so excited! Anyway a friend send this to me and I though to send to all my fellow “woman” bloggers; single & married likewise. Let me know what you think! Oh male bloggers u are also welcome to comment as well o. Do you agree or disagree? LOL.

"Be the change you want to see": A story from a woman to all women!

When I was preparing to get married, I started getting all sorts of advice especially at bridal showers and things like that from family and friends. But one of the most interesting "lessons" came from a woman I met for the first time, just a few weeks before the big day. She said, "Honey, whatever you do, don't ever let yourself become a "make-do" woman. I had no idea what she meant, but, of course, she was about to explain. She continued, "Men" don't deny themselves anything. Whatever they want to buy, they buy.
Whatever they want to do, they do. Meanwhile, there is the wife, making do with her hair not being done, her clothes from yesteryear, her nails in need, never had a pedicure, scraping the bottom of her tube of lipstick! Oh, I could go on and on with how "we" make do. And why? Because the car needs fixing, this bill is behind, we have to use our time to take care of this, or take care of that; we're saving for this, working, cooking, cleaning, raising, etc." She warned me to never become a make-do woman, because she says if you start, it is hard to stop and one could easily find themselves making-do for the rest of their lives. I vowed it would never happen to me. I didn't think much more of the conversation until one day, I began to take notice, she was right.
Men are a lot better at being good to themselves. Some call it being selfish, there has to be another word for it. Tell me if you know. Whatever you call it. It does have its place. When they want to play ball, or golf, or fish, they go! When they want to buy clothes, or equipment, or video games, or whatever their "thing" is, they buy! Have you ever tried to stop one? Has anyone ever been able to stop one? Let me know! When I look around, I see a whole heap of Make-do women, married or not, with or without children, they
are all over the place! I have decided that I am going to make my best effort to become a "MAKE-TIME" woman! I will make the time to do what I need to do to be good to myself, whether that's a trip to the salon, or the gym or the mall. This time I'm going to take a lesson from the guys! All right ladies, single and married... Let's NOT be "MAKE-DO" Women! Let's LOVE OURSELVES and ENCOURAGE each other!

Have a nice weekend!!!


  1. Firrrst! I think today is my day of being first!
    Ok, this makes a lot of sense, women just generally are better at managing and hoping they will get a treat someday...i guess things should have a balance too though...we can't spend all our time or resources also pleasing ourselves

    But i agree...we must not be make do women!

  2. Ok I love that..I think I need to send it to a friend of mine. She is just putting up with too much and the guy hasnt even put a ring on her finger..but I digress. My opinon about this issue is that women allow themselves to become a "make do" wife/girlfriend..watever else. We as women should understand that we are equal to these men in all matter of things and therefore we should "make time" for ourseleves,Because we should be our number one priority call it selfishness..I call it being reealistic!

    My two sents.. Most def Agree with the article..first time here I think..great blog!!

  3. omoteedlaw15/8/08 6:08 pm

    first time here too and i love this post. i relate with it cos in some way, i think i have been getting towards the make-do girlfriend.

    this is really nice!

  4. @writefreak- congrats on being first. glad it made sense to u....the key is definitely in balancing and not going overboard.

    @MrsO-yes o totally agree with u..thanks for stopping by. will visit yours in a bit.

    @omoteedlaw- am guessing u r a lawyer
    hmm pls make time to become a Make-Time girlfriend o... :)

  5. Very true...Its so not fair on women to allow themselves become make-do women. Its weird but my mum is actually more like the men you described, while my dad is the make-do type...My mum does all the buying for him sha because if not, the man will wear rags on account of car needs fixing and school fees need paying. She goes where she wants, buys what she wants...and for the family as well. But she doesn't deny herself stuff. My mum told me that she was advised by her grandmother to keep herself happy, as you should not depend on a man to make you happy.

  6. Oh yes u so right. I was wondering just about that the other day. My partner told me he was broke. Of cos I know he was broke and the next thing I see is him wearing a pair of new sneakers. Am like what happened to being broke but man replied saying that doesn't mean I cant splash out. That's just men. I guess we women will always wanna be wives and mothers. The home keepers and the affair sorters but that woman's advice is key. In all of that never lose sight of yourself. Thanks for reminding me alloted!

  7. another one of ur posts dat makez plenty sense and speakz d whole truth.. i remember a girlfriend of mine whose boo went to dubai for a few weekz. he borrowed money to buy a PS3 and loadza gamez and gave her a stupid pair of $2 earringz for her bday wich came up two dayz after he got back. I was lyk warrahell?? my friend isnt materilaistic but STILL... i cudnt blame her for being pissed off! afterwardz he was strugllin to pay off the the person he borrowed sum money 4rm to buy the ps3.. but sed he dsnt mind cos he rily wanted it! and yet he cudnt buy sumn of more substantial value 4 his chick!

    anyhoo.. make i sharap. ure right jo!

  8. wow,Aloted those are very powerful words and right in every sense..I had a neighbour who's husband worked with an oil firm..loads of money....she always looked like the house help cos she said she uses money for important stuff..all this we heard only cos the husband came to my mum so she could talk to her..

    I swore to always look my best!!!

  9. I strongly agree that women should make time for themselves... but with the right motive. Not to get back at some man but to appreciate the great woman she is.

    Thanks for sharing this post.

  10. this was a nice read...i see make-do women all around me n i pray i dont end up being one...i think it stems from this whole gender-inequality thing..sometimes it seems like its a thing of the past but its still prevalent..

  11. Yes o. make do women are the order of the day in Nigeria. Most Guys think im a feminist coz i do wat i want when i want, some say im selfish.On being a feminst i dont even know the meaning of the word.

  12. @archiwiz- wow your mum is correct jare! And i love the advise your grandma gave ur mum. in such the women in ur lineage are correct!

    @parakeet- yes o..u've said it all "In all of that never lose sight of yourself"

    @Mz Dee- thanks can be so full of themselves sometimes

    @afrobabe- serious matter..omo me to i always want to look my best though sometimes i get lazy. May God help us all!

    @Rita-most has to be for the right motive..i agree with u. thanks lady

    @buttercup- same prayer i pray girl...

    @anonymous gal- abi o..where did that word feminist stem from...
    abeg! say amen to being a make time woman!!!

  13. Thanks for the invite to participate.
    Seriously, I dont think it's a gender thing. I think people should make time to do what they really want to do whatever gender they are.
    I also think it has to do with priorities. It depends on what you consider important.
    People do not place the same priorities on the same things and I think that is what makes some people come across as 'make do.'

  14. yeesoo LG is a make-time woman,
    general public beware *grins*
    i luv this....
    i 'm coping n sending it to a friend rite now.
    thanks babes.

  15. this is so so ryt! nd i hope i'll neva b a make- do woman when i grow up, even now!

  16. This is soooooooooo true.

    I believe I was a make do woman, last year. But now, I make conscious effort to take care of myself.

    Its not easy, cos as women we r not self centered. But I have come to realize that it is not being selfish; even our men want us to make time 4 ourselves.

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  18. @kayshawn- thanks man... trust a man to see if from a totally different angle;)
    I agree with u but though it might not be a gender thing most women tend to fall into the make do category and it is from this angle that I am seeing it..

    @LG- yes o. raise up your hand all make time women. LOL
    I hope ur friend benefits from the article.

    @rayo- amen to that!

    @oluwadee- iyawo to be, I am glad u realised when u thot u were becoming a make do woman and made that conscious effort.. I am doing same

    @inmyhead-thank u o..finally. thanks for noticing I don change my u dey...update soon o!

  19. HMMMN..oro agba!!!

    This is so true...I really dont want a make-do woman mehn...cuz without a doubt she will berate me over my personal indulgences...

  20. This is so true! I'm not "making do" because I'm prioritizing other people; I'm making do because I'm lazy.

    I need to work harder on making time to pamper myself and really take care of myself. I see other girls who make the time and invest the money in looking good and I think it's about time I join their ranks! Thanks for the reminder.

  21. This make so much sense, so is so many comments I have read here...

  22. i think it is part of our nurturing spirit...that is why we end up making do

    'Let's NOT be "MAKE-DO" Women! Let's LOVE OURSELVES and ENCOURAGE each other!'

    Here here

  23. Yes oh.. That realization came to me last month and i made an effort to change my ways. It’s been working so far but sometimes i get this guilty pang of selfishness...

  24. this totally and absolutely makes sense...thinking about it..u dont have to be married to be a make do woman!!!!

    this is some crazy advice!!! definitely going to take note!!!

  25. @charie- correct guy! So i believe you will encourage your woman to make time if you see her slacking. :)

    @GNG- i feel u about laziness men. it happens to me sometimes. we need to step up our game girl.

    @standtall- thanks babe!

    @shubby doo- I agree women are nurturing by nature and hopefully we should be nurturing to ourselves as well. Thanks for stopping by.

    @allied- i get u on feeling selfish but i think as long as we prioritse and include ourselves in the list we should be fine.

    @Tintin- correct stuff! yes o even some single ladies make do. May we all be Make Time women. Thanks for stopping by.

  26. I dont think u get lazier than i do oh..

    I am so comfy in teeshirt and jeans that sometimes for 6 months I dont wear a dress or skirt..

    plus the silly london weather doesn't help matters..

  27. Now this is much needed and long overdue advise...have to share this with friends.. !

  28. i so agree with this... hmm...

    sometimes it almost catches me! this make do spirit... then i shake it off

  29. this is so true, hmmmmm,
    u know the moment we startin actin like we are still datin our men even when we are married, then we will realise how beautiful marriage can be,
    i mean why wil u want ur date see u with all the make - do's listed above when u can make - time and be beautiful? lol

    nice one

  30. this weekend i went to the salon to make my hair and a pedicure and a list of other beauty stuff...i thot i had let myself go and wanted to look nice. not cos there was an ocassion but just to spend some money on myself after 'making-do' for so long!....and i get here and read this today! was i so right! thanks... a lovely article that needs to be sent out to all my friends...

  31. Most of us women are always guilty of the make do women types bcos we always want to please our boyfriend/ husband and not make them angry.

    Even times that we need to maintain out stand.

    And the funny part their is we all make time to make our man happy but we are always making do with ourselves.

    Nice one babes..I'm sharing it out asap..


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