FREE JONATHAN ELENDU NOW

ELENDU'S STORY- On Saturday, October 18th, Nigerian political blogger, Jonathan Elendu was arrested upon arrival at a Nigerian airport. He was arrested and detained by the State Security Service (SSS), which according to the US State Department, reports directly to Nigeria's President. Elendu was detained by the SSS, without charge, and reportedly tortured and forced to starve for fear of poisoning. He was eventually handed over to an anti-corruption agency, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), but still, he was not charged in a court of law. Although Nigerian law requires every detainee to be charged within 48 hours of arrest, Jonathan Elendu was held for a period of 11 days without contact with a lawyer or his family. Until, Wednesday, October 29th, when word was received that Elendu was no longer under arrest and was receiving medical care. As of right now, Jonathan Elendu is no longer under arrest, but as his passport is still in the custody of the Federal Government of Nigeria, he is not free to return to his wife and child who live in the US.

*Adopted from www.nigeriancuriosity.com

Albert Schweitzer said- "The fundamental rights of [humanity] are, first: the right of habitation; second, the right to move freely; third, the right to the soil and subsoil, and to the use of it; fourth, the right of freedom of labor and of exchange; fifth, the right to justice; sixth, the right to live within a natural national organization; and seventh, the right to education."

MR FEDERAL GOVERNMENT PLS FREE JONATHAN, GIVE HIM BACK HIS TRAVEL DOCUMENTS SO HE CAN RETURN TO HIS FAMILY.

FREE Jonathon Elendu NOW

Where has your handbag been lately?

Hi peeps, A good friend of mine sent me the below article on handbags. I must say I was quite shocked ! It never really occurred to me about how much germs can exist on our handbags based on where we drop them. Gross!

Please read and let me know what you think? Cheers!

*Guys/men please feel free to comment as well* Rethots no vex o ;)
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Have you ever noticed girls who set their handbags on
public toilet floors, then go directly to their dining
tables and set it on the table? Happens a lot!
It's not always the 'restaurant food' that causes
Stomach distress. Sometimes 'what you don't know will hurt you'!

Mom got so upset when guests came in the door and
plopped their handbags down on the counter where she
was cooking or setting up food. She always said that
handbags are really dirty, because of where they have
been.

It's something just about every woman carries with them.
While we may know what's inside our handbags,
do you have any idea what's on the outside? Women carry
handbags everywhere; from the office to public toilets
to the floor of the car. Most women won't be caught
without their handbags, but did you ever stop to think
about where your handbag goes during the day.
I drive a school bus, so my handbag has been on the
floor of the bus a lot,' says one woman. 'On the
floor of my car, and in toilets.'

'I put my handbag in grocery shopping carts and on the
floor of the toilet,' says another woman 'and of
course in my home which should be clean.'
We decided to find out if handbags harbor a lot of
bacteria. We learned how to test them at Nelson
Laboratories in Salt Lake , and then we set out to
test the average woman's handbag.

Most women told us they didn't stop to think about
what was on the bottom of their handbag. Most said at
home they usually set their handbags on top of kitchen
tables and counters where food is prepared.
Most of the ladies we talked to told us they wouldn't
be surprised if their handbags were at least a little bit dirty.

It turns out handbags are so surprisingly dirty, even
the microbiologist who tested them was shocked.
Microbiologist Amy Karen of Nelson Labs says nearly
all of the handbags tested were not only high in
bacteria, but high in harmful kinds of bacteria.
Pseudomonas can cause eye infections, staphylococcus
aurous can cause serious skin infections, and
salmonella and e-coli found on the handbags could make
people very sick.

In one sampling, four of five handbags tested positive
for salmonella, and that's not the worst of it.
'There is fecal contamination on the handbags' says Amy.
Leather or vinyl handbags tended to be cleaner than
cloth handbags, and lifestyle seemed to play a role.
People with kids tended to have dirtier handbags than
those without, with one exception.

The handbag of one single woman who frequented
nightclubs had one of the worst contaminations of all.
'Some type of feces, or possibly vomit' says Amy.
So the moral of this story is that your handbag won't
kill you, but it does have the potential to make you
very sick if you keep it on places where you eat.
Use hooks to hang your handbag at home and in toilets,
and don't put it on your desk, a restaurant table, or
on your kitchen countertop.

Experts say you should think of your handbag the same way you would a pair of
shoes. 'If you think about putting a pair of shoes on
your countertops, that's the same thing you're doing
when you put your handbag on the countertops.'
Your handbag has gone where individuals before you
have walked, sat, sneezed, coughed, spat, urinated,
emptied bowels, etc!



Do you really want to bring that home with you?
The microbiologists at Nelson also said cleaning a
handbag will help. Wash cloth handbags and use leather
cleaner to clean the bottom of leather handbags.

Blogging Scholarship

Hi guys,

This is not an update but information for student bloggers in the States.

You can find more information here on the blogging scholarship.

Please pass on to other bloggers that might be interested.

A Naija student blogger should win this time o! LOL

Cheers!

Ten things Tuesday (07) + Love your Blog Award

Hello Beautiful people. I hope this meets you well. It's another awesome Tuesday and I am here to give thanks but this time for some special bloggers! Actually let me start from the beginning.


Last week, I was awarded the "I Love your blog" award by YankeeNaijaBabe and Lady A. I was really tripped and actually blessed to know that such wonderful ladies love my blog.


YNB- I must confess that I love the work you are doing with your new blog...it's full of all sorts that can benefit anyone who cares to read. I have picked up a few fashion tips from your blog. Thanks



Lady A- Reading about your story and how you are joyful even in the midst of heartaches, everyday life and caring for your kids amazes me. Your love for God is evident in all your blogs. I am so happy that you and your hubby are back together and making things work. You remind me that Love conquers all.



So before I pass on the award, here are the rules:

1.The nominated is allowed to put the picture on their blogs.
2.Link to the person who awarded you.
3.Nominate seven other people and link to them.
4.Leave a message on those people's blog to make them aware that they're nominated.

I know the rules says pass it on to 7 bloggers but as I am incorporating this with my Ten things Tuesday am sure y'all won't mind me passing it to 10 remarkable bloggers. So here's me passing on the award and giving thanks for 10 blogs I love. Smart move, right??

Oh, yah, at this point I must mention that to everyone I gave out the Honest Award and to everyone that I read your blogs, please know that I 100% love your blogs. Blogville is just the place to be and I am humbled to be part of this wonderful family. However, I will like to recgonise the following as their blogs have impacted my life for the better (if you didn't know, now u are about to know...lol).

In no particular order, I hereby pass on the award to:

• Xbox Wife- The orginator of Ten things Tuesday. Am sure glad to have stumbled on your blog cuz doing ten things tuesday has taught me to be more thankful. For this reason I love your blog :)

• Walking- This lady has all sorts of tips for everyday life on her blog. I have picked up a few tips on money management, food timetable etc. You just have to check her out.

• Seye- There's just something remarkable about you and your posts. For a guy, I think you are in touch with your emotions even though you try to appear hardcore to us ;-)

• Simeone Omobaba- Man of God! LOL...Your blog inspires me. That's all I am going to say.

• ShubbyDoo- Just the title of your blog alone trips me. I remember once you mentioned on someone's blog that it actually keeps u in check. This reminds me of me sometimes when i feel like ranting but my blog title keeps me in line. Inspiring blog

• Abbie- I love reading about you, your son, your minor "escapades". LOL. Thanks for always taking time out to respond to my comments via email. I appreciate it

• 30+ - I simply love your blog because you ALWAYS acknowledge God at the beginning of each post. I find that totally awe-inspiring.

• Tyger- You this girl, you have not been updating frequently but when you do you have something to say that puts a smile on my face.

• Rethots- I love your unique way of writing. I have this image of you in my head. Do you look like a geek? lol. Sometimes, am not sure what you are going on about in your posts (slow me abi) but I love the fact that you take time out to send me an email to explain what's going on.

• Abuja Maiden - I only recently stumbled on this blog and I fell in love with it right away. It's rare to find people who not only travel the "narrow path" but they are not ashamed to talk about it. Not sure how old you are but you remind me of me when I was younger, single and dealing with temptations of a single life. The Lord will surely reward your decision ;)

Sorry I have to acknowledge one more special person o, no vex. My ore timo timo (my close friend).

Writefreak: Ore, sometimes I think you blog is all about you and your hubby. Hubby this, hubby that. LOL. That is what I love about your blog :) Too much love...never too much jare! Thanks for being my friend in real life and in blogville. ;)

So who or what are you thankful for??

"The Victor"

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will.
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later the man who wins,
Is the man who thinks he can.

By C. W. Longenecker

The way you think would affect your life hugely - either positive or negative. Start thinking positive thoughts today!

Ten things Tuesday (06)

I am here again to give thanks! My last ten things tuesday can be found here

1. God's protection
2. For the power of love over fear in my life
   
3. Seye has decided to be part of the ten thing tuesday series ;-)
4. Went to see the Lion King at the theatre with Tyger. It was remarkable! Really lovely! If you are in the UK (not sure where else they show this), I recommend you go and see it.
   
5. Tyger and I had lunch at Pizza Express before the show. That was also fun. I found out after the show, at the tube station, that I forgot my debit card at Lunch! We had to walk all the way back; Tyger in her high heels, I was smart enough to bring a change of shoes. (Tyger no vex o...lol). Am glad I got my card back.
6. I drove to work and back home all by myself yesterday...lol. Hubby went with me on Friday but I decided to tackle this on my own. I blasted my Hillsong CD to keep me company on the way and I thank God I didn't miss my way!
7. Hubby had a bad cold during the week and on top of that hit his leg which swelled up. The cold is gone and his leg is fine now.
8. The gas at home stopped working which affected the heater and hot water but hubby fixed it. Good to have a handyman at home men, because if it was just me I would have called the Landlord to come and fix his gas!
9. Had a blasting headache yesterday afternoon, and then a tummy upset. Headache is gone but tummy still aches.
10. Deciding to call in sick today. Honestly I can not do any brain work with a tummy upset. At least I can stay home to rest today. I need it!

So what are you thankful for?

Desperate Driver

One of my goals this year was to learn how to drive. Isn't it so sad and embarrassing to know that as old as I am I cannot operate a car!!! I’ll see ladies younger than me cruising in their posh ride and I’ll just shake my head. Well I refuse to take all the blame for not knowing how to drive. I’ll give 50% to my father.

You see, I went to a boarding school and then did my first degree outside Nigeria so basically those years were not the best time to learn how to drive. When I came back to Nigeria to do my NYSC I finally decided it was time to learn this thing! I went to a driving school, as there was no one in the family who had my time. My instructor thought I was a quick learner and I was pretty excited about the whole driving experience. One day my dad asked me to drive the family to church and men the car (a Volvo) refused to work o. Anyway I managed to drive us to church but my father was lamenting all the way. He was like “you this girl, you cannot drive yet ”. That’s how my dad believed I was not any good and refused to release any of his cars for my use.

I didn’t worry too much as I got a job in Lagos and forgot all about driving. Seeing how people drive crazily in Lagos discouraged me profoundly from pursuing my driving career. I neglected the whole thing till I felt the urge again…you know seeing all those Lagos babes in their Rav4 etc. LOL. Anyway at this point, I asked my dad to sell me his 504 (I know, I know, very razz, but I was getting desperate at this point). Anyway the man went back and forth over selling the car to me. To cut the long story short, he didn’t sell me the car. You can see why I am putting half blame on him although i think he was scared I'll probably have an accident or something. Anyway I fashied (forgot) his side and went to another driving school. I was really determined that I had to know how to drive. I was coming to the UK to do my masters and I felt I had to learn this art of driving before leaving. I got similar comments from my new instructor that I was a natural driving blah blah.

I got to the UK and once again didn’t get round to driving. Well those who live in the UK know how it can be. You can’t drive without a license. Actually people do but it is against the law and I didn’t want to start thinking of the consequences if I was caught and besides I personally think it is wrong. I did have an international license from Nigeria but somehow didn’t get to driving.

Ok fast forward to two years later- beginning of 2008. As part of my goals for the year, driving and getting my license was at the top of the list. I had had enough and felt I had dragged this whole driving thing for too long. Kilode??? (Why??). Bus drivers that might have not gone to school can drive, so why can’t I. Correct babe like me. I was like aloted, this is the year o. You have to get your license and get driving!

So in April I enrolled in a driving school (kai, yet another one) and had to start from scratch. Learning how to drive and then pass the driving test is another ball game in the UK. At this point I was wishing I was back in Nigeria where you just use bold face to “enter” the road. Abi practice makes perfect. But over here, you have to do a theory test before you can take the practical test. All that procedure didn't really bother me, it was the money I had to pay for driving classes that was biting me. Do not be deceived, learning to drive in the UK is EXPENSIVE. In fact, it is an investment. Heck that was why I waited till April to get into that financial commitment.

Nawa o, this story is getting long o. Hen, hen, where was I? Ok I started driving classes and was beginning to feel confident again about my driving. I even mentioned it in one or two of my ten things Tuesday. I took my practical test in June and I failed it! I was quite devastated. I knew at this point I could drive but the driving test was so nerve wrecking I fumbled. On a consoling note, only about 35% of people pass their first time. But still I was really gutted! All that money! Kai! That was mainly what I could think about. Husby was really cool about the whole thing. He believes till this day that the examiner purposely failed me (cuz am a black girl init? LOL)

Ok, don’t worry, I am nearly done with my story. So I took a month break and decided to ditch my instructor. I didn’t have any issues with him actually but I felt I needed a second "view". At this point I also considered going the easy route- doing my test with an auto car, but I felt that was accepting defeat. Why should I not be able to pass my test with a manual, meanwhile if you pass the auto test you are restricted to driving only auto cars. For all you auto drivers, you cannot really drive o..just accept it now now..LOL, who cares abi? Anyway I got another instructor who taught manual and I was glad I did. DI (driving instructor) seemed very passionate about teaching how to drive and kept on going on and on about how many of his students passed first time and how he loved his job. This actually boosted my confidence. I took fewer lessons with him, ta le fe je ni gbese (I had no more extra money to dash (give) anyone).

I was feeling really on top of things, and felt more prepared for my next test. Days before my test, I had been praying seriously for favour with the examiner because I really didn’t want to go through all of the driving test after this time.

I felt nervous again, I tire for me and nervousness o, such that at the beginning of the test I could hardly feel my legs and I was like “oh no, not now, legs you have to perform o”. I made a blunder on one of the manoeuvres and in my head I was like ye I don fail (I have failed) but I kept at it and my legs felt better. I made sure I kept doing my mirror checks (people fail primarily for this reason- not checking their mirrors and blind spot). I wore dangle earrings so the man will know when I make any head movement. LOL.

Anyhoo we got back to the test centre and the guy was like “Is this your first attempt” and I replied “No, my second”. He goes “Ok I will give you a pass, but you know you nearly messed up there”. Omo I felt like kneeling down and prostrating for him at the same time. I PASSED!!!!! Tears of joy came streaming down, I felt like saying one conc Yoruba prayer for the guy but I just kept my cool. He gave me a blue paper to use as a temp licence and wished me all the best. I was so excited I hugged the DI…hehehe. He was pretty happy for me as well.

Hubsy was so excited for me, he took me out later that evening to celebrate. Meanwhile, guess who the first person I smsed to share the good news- My dad!

My sms: How are you sir? Just wanted to let you know I took my practical driving test today and I passed! Thank God. So I am now an official road user.

His reply: My dear daughter, I am proud of you. Congratulations. When next I come to Britain you will come and pick me from the airport

Dreading this already..LOL!!!

THANK GOD OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I DON PASS!!!

Ten things Tuesday (05)

Hi peeps hope you are all doing well?

Tuesdays are here again!!! Another day to give thanks. Here's the link to my last Ten things tuesday.

1. The sunshine we had this weekend was awesome. T'was nice to see the sun shining
2. Husby has finally barbed his hair, after so much begging & pleading! He looks all cute & boyish with his skin cut!
3. Two of my friends gave birth this past week
4. God delivered me from the hands of fraudsters (long story but it relates to my business)
5. I feel so much love around me and on blogville
6. The award I received on blogville from brownsugar is still tripping me. Thanks babes!
7. Grateful for my pastor and the work God is using him to do
8. The gift of love and life
9. Power of healing in my life
10. The Lord is good and his love endures forever!

What are you thankful for?

Last time I asked what you'll do if you feel you are always making contact with your friends and they don't. I appreciate all your answers and I think on a good day I'll take the actions the same way I listed them depending on how important I think the frienship is to me. The answer that particular struck me was from Abbie:

"About your question, it's strange that U never keep track of who contacts who, I just know when me and my friends get together we have the best times regardless of who called who"

So that is where the problem is- me keeping track of who makes contact first! Hmm. It dawned on me that only an idle person (I use that word idle loosely) will sit down and be counting who called who first and when. Just because some friends do not call/email me does not mean they do not care. They probable have issues they are trying to sort out in their lifes. If I have the urge to call them I should go ahead and do so. Who knows I might be a source of blessing to them at that point. On the last day, God will not ask me how many friends I had but how many people I was a friend to.

I feel like I am rambling so I'll just stop here. However, I hope I make some sense to at least somebody ;-)

Enjoy the rest of your week dearies. :-)

Blogville AWARD!!!!

Yippee!! I received a blogville award from brownsugar.



I must say that I am "flabberwhelmed" and "overgasted". Hehehe.. Speech, speech, speech!!!! Ok ok if you insist ;)

"I want to say thank you to y'all on blogville...you are too much! Special thanks to brownsugar for passing on the award. And a big shout out to all my fans on blogville. You are far to kind..."

LOL

Ok Here are the rules to follow:
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with an award
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then pass it on!

I hereby pass on the award to the following in no particular order:

• Writefreak
• RitaI'll let you decide which one of your blogs to put it on ;)
• Rinsola
• Tolatino
• Good Nigeria Girl
• Dee!
• Favoured Girl
  
• Chari/Buttercup

I so love your blogs (and you) and I think you deserve to win this award. Enjoy! :D

'It's not where you live, it's HOW you live'

I was really challenged/inspired by this woman's story(1) so I thought to share. I had read about her children (quadruplets) in the metro paper but reading the story from this woman's perspective is totally mind blowing. I am so enthused by women like this. Let me know what you guys think.

Meanwhile a big shout out to ShawnDaVinci
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Watching television pictures last week of jubilant teenagers celebrating their A-level results, I was filled with an amazing sense of accomplishment.
In my home that joyous feeling has been felt fourfold. For my 18-year-old children – quadruplets Tolu, Tayo, Tobi and Tosin, who were conceived naturally – all achieved A and B grades at the St Francis Xavier sixth-form college in Clapham, South-West London.
They have secured places at Manchester University, Goldsmiths, Queen Mary University of London and Cambridge.
I am, understandably, bursting with pride. Because, although I’ve not had to cope with too many social disadvantages over the years, the fact remains that I am a 52-year-old single mother. And I have brought up seven children – four of them boys – on my own in Lewisham, one of London’s most deprived boroughs.

Proud: Single mother Julie Oke believes it's how you live, not where you live

I have bucked the statistics that say my children, who grew up without a father present in their daily lives, should be academic failures.
All of them have done exceptionally well. The eldest boy is 29 and a doctor in Nigeria, my 27-year-old daughter is a nurse and I have a son, 25, who is a lawyer.
However, it is the success of the quads that has got everyone asking how I’ve pulled off this apparent miracle. Well, it is not rocket science. Simply put, it has always been my philosophy that it’s not where you live, but how you live – and that children learn by example.
I’ve always known education and hard work were the ways to improve my life, and I have instilled the same principles in my children.
My goal has always been that they would break down barriers and excel academically. But I also wanted them to do so in schools with a strong moral code, to complement my work at home. So I have always sent them to religious establishments.
I chose St Francis, despite it being a long way from our home, because it has a great reputation for academic achievement. Its exam results are consistently well above average and the majority of its students progress to higher education, including Oxford and Cambridge.
When I visited, the facilities stood out above the rest. I was especially struck by the principal’s mission statement, which says ‘to be successful in today’s world you must develop skills and abilities at a higher level than was ever necessary in the past’. That is what I’ve always told my children: to stretch themselves beyond what is expected.
I am constantly being told children in black communities are failing because 59 per cent of them are raised by lone parents. But, although I accept children are largely better off when they grow up with both parents, just having a man in the house does not mean they will go on to become pillars of society.

Four times the success: 18-year-old quadruplets Tobi, Tayo, Tolu and Tosin celebrate their A-level results

It really does depend on how you bring up your child. How they see you live your life and the values you instil in them from an early age. Too many single parents, of all colours and creeds, are content to collect state benefits and let their children run wild.
I have been a single mum since the quads were born. I was 34 and on my own but I was determined I would open up as many opportunities for them as possible.
They have seen how hard I work. I have never relied on Government handouts. They have learned by example that commitment and dedication will get you a long way.
Yet my background is not a wealthy or privileged one. My father was an illiterate Nigerian farmer and my mother was one of his seven wives. She ran a shop in a small town in the state of Osun. There were 24 children in all – five my mum’s.

I can remember my parents telling us that becoming educated would mean we did not have to work as physically hard as they did. However, they could not afford to send us all to higher education.
I went to an Anglican grammar school and ended up doing teacher training in Nigeria, before getting my first degree in social work education from the University of Paris in 1984.
After moving to London, I lived in a single room and did various odd jobs before I could get my footing. I was a social worker in Lambeth when, to the shock of everyone including myself, the quads were born.
I took a year’s maternity leave, put them into nursery and went straight back to work.
I continued studying child care because I wanted to open a nursery. I now manage a business that cares for 20 youngsters up to the age of five and have a staff of four.

I’m not saying it hasn’t been hard. At times, money has been incredibly tight. The children wore each other’s clothes and never got the designer gear or fashionable items their peers had. Yet they never complained. They saw how hard I worked and they knew it was all for them.
I’ve taught them to be respectful of other people, especially their elders. Once, one of the girls got into an argument with a teacher over her grades. I explained shouting was not the best way to get her point across and it was disrespectful. Another time I discovered that my sons wanted to settle a row with a local boy by fighting. I explained that violence could escalate and that it rarely solved a problem.
Obviously, there has been peer pressure put on them over the years. They see other kids running wild, doing what they want. But they know that is not how we live in this family.
I’ve never had to worry about them getting involved in gangs or drugs or any other bad behaviour for that matter. It is just out of the question because they have been brought up as good Christians.
People think being a single parent means your children have to fail. I live by my own code and my own notions. I tell my children they are individuals, that they do not have to be like everyone else.
What has held a lot of black families back is that they have accepted the stereotype. They do not realise they can achieve anything they want, that the sky is the limit, that class or colour should not classify who they are.
People have said I shouldn’t blow my own trumpet. But I know I’ve done everything possible to give my children a good start in life. It has taken commitment, time and care but it has been so rewarding for me to see them growing and achieving. And I confess, I’m privately amazed by how well they have done.
My message to other single parents is that they should not let the system determine their lives.
I say, always push yourself. Pray, work hard, respect yourself and your children.
I don’t think I’m unique or alone and only wish the good work of other lone parents with children doing well could be heard as loudly as those crying about the effects of guns and violence.

(1)Story taken from here.

Meanwhile a big shout out to ShawnDaVinci a new blogger. Please visit his blog and welcome him warmly. Thanks peeps :D

Honeymoon Runs- better late than never, no?

The avid readers of my blog will remember that I got married this January. You can read about that here. What most of you don’t know is that we didn’t go for our honeymoon till this past weekend (Don’t ask why..lol). We left London on Thursday and came back on Sunday. Short, sweet and memorable!

We went to Athens, the capital city of Greece and it was really awesome! The weather was fanstatic, mediterranean climate as they call it. It was hot like naija weather so no complaining there. Besides London is getting cold now. We arrived Thursday evening and went to our hotel. On our way to the hotel I couldn’t help but notice the many storey buildings and a lot of sign posts and placards. It reminded me of Lagos in a way.

I had done most of the planning i.e the hotel, places to visit with the help of a Greek colleague (lets call her GC) at work. GC had detailed all the major tourist attractions to visit. If not for that girl, we for miss road in Athens o. Anyway, I booked a sea view room , as our hotel is by the sea and I was really impressed with the view (not as much as the room though). So serene and lovely.

After unpacking and stuff we went down for dinner in the hotel. We paid for half board (breakfast and dinner). Big mistake. I will explain later. When we got to the dinner area, the first thing we noticed was all the stares from people already having their dinner. As in if stares could kill, I won’t be here to give you an account of our trip. I would have thought in this day and age white people will be used to seeing black folks like me and husby but apparently that was not the case. Abit this people no dey see black person before?? Anyway we had supper..which I thought was comestible. Hubsy thought it was "just there". I asked for butter for my bread and this was what I got.

Maybe na my accent o, or they just didn’t want to give me butter because the following morning there was enough butter for breakfast! It actually tasted ok sha.

Anyway on Friday, we took the tram to the Athens town which is about 45 mins from our hotel. We went to the Acropolis, the ancient Greek temples. The Acropolis is on a hill so we had to do some climbing to get up to the temples. I kept waiting at different points to rest. Climbing no easy! We also visited another place called Ancient Agora. It was all really cultural and stuff. Here are some pictures (will try to upload some more later).

Can you see my head? LOL

Later we had lunch at a restaurant in Plaka area. GC had warned me that people would try to drag you into their restaurants, so in a way I was prepared for dragging. Funny enough because we were farmished and tired, we just entered the first restaurant we found after the guy hollered at us. It was situated outside, I guess because of how hot the weather is, with fans blowing all round. We had chicken souvlaki (Kebab basically) as recommended by GC with rice and potatoes. It was quite tasty!

Afterwards, we walk round the shops on Ermou, Athen’s high street. In some of the shops we entered, we still got stared at and some people even asked “where are you from?” Answer: “London”. Funny enough I am sure if it was just me I would have said Nigeria..lol..but I just followed husby’s lead: “We are londoners, ese (thank you)”. When we got tired of walking about we decided to go back to the hotel and we headed to the sea side. As per bush girl like me that cannot swim I decided to stay by the tip of the sea for fear of being carried away by the water. At least my hubsy managed to enter small. The weather by the sea was really breezy and refreshing I didn’t even realise when I dozed off on my beach towel, kai aloted & sleep!

Dinner time, katakata nearly burst! Husby was not thrilled with the food at the hotel and you know how men can be when it comes to food. I was busy enjoying the food…or at least managing to enjoy it and I guess that infuriated him the more. He settled for the biscuits and juice I packed from home. I thought the whole episode was funny and I told him if it was possible to cook from home and put in a cooler I would have but with all them airport rules et al that wasn’t feasible. Point for next time- book only bed & breakfast or make sure we go on holiday where there are family and friends, so we can stop by to eat eba and ewedu or something Nigerian. Or any ideas for next time???

The plan for Saturday was to go to Poros Island for the day (according to GC's bible). As at Friday night, the plan was still on but by Saturday morning, husby said he didn’t feel like going anyway so we chilled in the hotel room and later on went to the pool in the hotel (I watched while husby attempted to swim). For lunch we jeje-ly went to Pizza hut (familiar grounds) and bought KFC takeaway for dinner. Food sorted there, Phew!

I am not much of a narrator so apologies if I have not been able to describe Athens very well or how much fun we had in Greece but we sure did. The highlights for me was:
1) How Athens reminding me so much of Lagos.
2) The stares we kept getting from people, we ran into maybe just two other black people except for those hawking so in a way I understand.
3) The beautiful weather
4) Hubsy not enjoying the food! I have sure learnt a lot from this experience. :) No dulling next time!

Meanwhile today is Ten things Tuesday. I am thankful for: finally going on my honeymoon albeit eight months after wedding day, journey mercies, the gift of life, gift of love & friendship, the different kinds of people/races in this world, my hubsy, my parents, my parents-in-law, my business and GC for being our virtual guide.

Lastly, Happy new month to y'all. This is your month of signs and wonders. The "Ember" months will be for signs & wonders in Jesus Name.

Ten things Tuesday (04) + Question

Hi my peeps…how you all doing?

Another Ten Things Tuesday is here. Here is a link to my last list.

I am thankful for:

my salvation through Christ Jesus,
my hubby,
my marriage,
my family,
my friends,
my job,
my business,
my health,
my finances and
the things I am believing God for that I have not seen in the physical.

So what are you thankful for?

I have a question for you guys. What do you do when you think/feel/can prove u are the one always making the first move to initiate contact with some friends. Do u:

a) Cut them some slack and keep on making the first move.
b) Stop making contact and see if your friends will remember you exist one day
c) Tell them how you feel and live happily ever after (hopefully)
d) Move them to your acquaintance category, life is too short to be bothered with such friends
e) None of the above (Any other suggestions??)

“Make Time” Woman

Looks like so many bloggers are either getting engaged or married…Am so excited! Anyway a friend send this to me and I though to send to all my fellow “woman” bloggers; single & married likewise. Let me know what you think! Oh male bloggers u are also welcome to comment as well o. Do you agree or disagree? LOL.

"Be the change you want to see": A story from a woman to all women!

When I was preparing to get married, I started getting all sorts of advice especially at bridal showers and things like that from family and friends. But one of the most interesting "lessons" came from a woman I met for the first time, just a few weeks before the big day. She said, "Honey, whatever you do, don't ever let yourself become a "make-do" woman. I had no idea what she meant, but, of course, she was about to explain. She continued, "Men" don't deny themselves anything. Whatever they want to buy, they buy.
Whatever they want to do, they do. Meanwhile, there is the wife, making do with her hair not being done, her clothes from yesteryear, her nails in need, never had a pedicure, scraping the bottom of her tube of lipstick! Oh, I could go on and on with how "we" make do. And why? Because the car needs fixing, this bill is behind, we have to use our time to take care of this, or take care of that; we're saving for this, working, cooking, cleaning, raising, etc." She warned me to never become a make-do woman, because she says if you start, it is hard to stop and one could easily find themselves making-do for the rest of their lives. I vowed it would never happen to me. I didn't think much more of the conversation until one day, I began to take notice, she was right.
Men are a lot better at being good to themselves. Some call it being selfish, there has to be another word for it. Tell me if you know. Whatever you call it. It does have its place. When they want to play ball, or golf, or fish, they go! When they want to buy clothes, or equipment, or video games, or whatever their "thing" is, they buy! Have you ever tried to stop one? Has anyone ever been able to stop one? Let me know! When I look around, I see a whole heap of Make-do women, married or not, with or without children, they
are all over the place! I have decided that I am going to make my best effort to become a "MAKE-TIME" woman! I will make the time to do what I need to do to be good to myself, whether that's a trip to the salon, or the gym or the mall. This time I'm going to take a lesson from the guys! All right ladies, single and married... Let's NOT be "MAKE-DO" Women! Let's LOVE OURSELVES and ENCOURAGE each other!

Have a nice weekend!!!

Assertiveness Tips

Finally in today’s post I am going to share some everyday assertiveness tips that you might find useful. You might want to read up the introductory post here before continuing.


By the way, someone asked me after my introductory post what the difference is between being aggressive and being assertive. I must acknowledge that there is a thin line between aggressiveness and assertiveness. However two key differences when communicating or pushing back is in your tone of voice and body language. Assertive speaking often involves the use of "I" statements. For example "I feel upset when you take my book and don’t put it back where you found it," rather than, "You make me feel upset when you take my book and don’t put it back where you found it". When being assertive, there is no room for sarcasm or attack.



There are so many assertiveness tips out there but I have selected a few. All, some or none might be applicable to you.


Recognise that people are responsible for their own behaviour: have u ever been upset when a friend or loved one comes to you for advice and they go right ahead to do the exact opposite of what you advised them to do?! It can be very frustrating right? We can’t force our loved ones to do what we tell them and the earlier we realise this, the better for us. Sometimes we take the blame when people take the wrong step after we’ve warned/cajoled/begged them not too and the consequence is very grave. As much as we empathise with them, which is the best we can do, every man is responsible for his own behaviour.

Also speaking about behaviour, a common example that comes to mind is when people break up. The person who initiates the break up feels guilty and wants to rescue their ex from their pain. Unfortunately breaking up comes with pain and in as much as you were the one that initiative the break up, the way the ex deals with the pain is their responsibility and not yours. I know this sounds harsh but it is the truth. If we take it upon ourselves to be responsible for how they deal with their pain we would feel obliged to do anything for them even at the expense of our happiness and maybe another relationship. You keep wondering what the ex is thinking, u feel bad when you hear what they have said about you somewhere…and you can’t move on. That is definitely not a place where you want to be. The best you can do is pray that God will help them deal with their pain and move on with your life. We can’t play God.

Recognise that people are different and are entitled to their own point of view: We’ve just had a recent example of this on some blogs where people have had different opinions about an issue. This is bound to happen as people form opinions based on their background, religion, experiences, values etc. We should learn to listen to other people’s POV even if we do not agree as more often than not there is more than one different position for any given situation. By listening to what others have to say we might just learn something new and add to our knowledge base. Also we should be respectful when expressing our point of view.

Let other people know exactly what you want without making unclear requests: wouldn’t life be easier if people could know what we are thinking and we didn’t have to tell them. I for one will find it a relief. Sometimes we think if we drop hints the other person will get the message but this would most likely lead to uncertainty and expectations not being met. By communicating exactly what we want/need we leave no room for guessing games and this gives the other person a chance to respond suitably. For example, your friend wants you to pick up a book from the library on your way back from work because it is close to your place of work but you have a prior engagement you need to attend to and you know getting the book will delay your meeting. Instead of saying “Ok I will try to get the book” simply say something like “I would have loved to help but unfortunately that will mean I might run late for my meeting. Please could you make alternative arrangements to get the book”. That way your friend is not expecting you to get the book and depending on how urgent she needs it, will make other arrangements to get it. Remember you rejected the request and not the person.

Another example that comes to mind is when people get invited to an outing; they say they will try to make the outing knowing they have no plans to attend. People say that is being diplomatic but that is simply just a lie. I believe it is better to politely decline with your reasons so that way you are setting the person’s expectation at that point.

Don’t keep quiet when you have strong feelings about an issue: There are some issues not worth arguing over and sometimes the more mature thing to do is keeping quiet. Silence they say is golden. However when it comes to your health, your safety, your core values, or you know the price of keeping silence will result into anger or resentment it is better to speak up than suffer in silence. For example, your partner typical stays out late and this is a behaviour you cannot stand. This is not the time to keep quiet and hope he/she gets the message someday. This is the time to speak up, communicate how you feel about his/her staying out late and probably both of you can come to an understanding.

Take time out if you need to contain your anger: Have you noticed sometimes you find yourself getting angry during a conversation? At this point it is better to take a break from the discussion than continue. We can hardly communicate effectively when our judgement is clouded with emotions. When we feel much better we can come back and present our position more effectively. This is different from cutting off another person emotionally, which is a destructive tactic that some of us tend to do.

Think through your arguments before presenting them: Because we sometime think our opinion makes more sense than the other person we might tend to get lost in the trivial details that we forget the main points of our arguments. If we want to effectively get our point across we should think through the issues and get down to the core points. The other person might be much more willing to listen if your ideas are presented in an organised and consistent way.



So that's it for tips. I hope they made sense. Please feel free to share other assertiveness tips. Meanwhile I might be going on an assertiveness course at work, if it gets approved. Will let you know what I learn on the course. :)

Ten things Tuesday (03)

Hi. I am back with another ten things tuesday. Here's a link to my last list.

Remember in all things give thanks!!!

1. For wisdom and discernment this past week
2. For safety & protection
3. For all my friends who gave birth this past week- men loads of people are having babies.
4. The UK visa embargo has been lifted in Nigeria! And my friend has now applied for her visa
5. Was believing God for something last week but it didn’t go as I expected yet I still give thanks because I know it is for a reason
6. I have launched my business!!! Going slowly but surely. Will update y’all with more details soonest besides I am looking for customers :D
7. For summer...its so warm right now..I am loving it!
8. For my wonderful loving husband
9. My granduncle passed away at over 80! He lived a well fulfilled life.
10. For all my blog friends. You are all just too much!!!!

What are you thankful for this week?

N.B- Just to let you know I have not forgotten about the assertiveness tips! Am just getting my materials & act together. Will post it soonest. Muah!

God of Wonders- Cliff Young (Tagged...NOT!)

I waited and waited to see if anyone will tag me..but alas no one so i decided to tagged myself! lol..Actually I wasn't hoping to get tagged, as I don't really like to do meme, till I read Oluwadee's gospel like meme and i was inspired to do mine. That was when I started waiting to be tagged o. Don't worry I forgive you all. LOL.

Anyway decided to do the song meme..or whatever you people call it. Am not going to state any rules jo..I'll just do it.

So here goes:

*IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
King of Kings (He’s a wonder)- Cece Winans
He is a wonder in my life so it is ok!

*WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Once in a blue moon- Lighthouse Family
Shu lol…I don’t get this one

*WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
One Desire- Hillsong
Yes o having similar desires in life is something I like in a guy

*HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Speechless- Steven Curtis Chapman
This annoying rain that has been pouring non stop is making me speechless

*WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Let’s just praise the Lord- Don Marsh
Hmm… My life’s purpose is to give all the praise, thanks and glory to God. You deserves it all.

*WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
This Kingdom- Hillsong
It’s all about God’s kingdom. Seek first HIS kingdom and all other things shall be added unto you.

*WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
If anything ever happened to you- Bebe & Cece Winans…
Abi? how could my friends go on if anything ever happened to me?? I believe they pray that nothing bad happens to me! Aww

*WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Written in the Stars- West life
LOL..ok I dunno how to analyse this one…hmm ok the chorus of the song helps. Looking at my life and how the pieces fall into place it won’t have turned out right without them in it.

*WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Sweet Surrender- Jaci Velasquez
AH! I do think a lot about the benefit yet the struggle of always surrendering to God

*WHAT IS 2+2?
All I have to give- Backstreet boys.
LOL…2+ 2 is all I have to give to you!

*WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I can’t complain- Dewayne Woods….
Yes o I can’t complain about any best friend i have had at any point in my life. I appreciate them all

*WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Faith Enough- Carman
I have faith that God will see Husby and I through the journey

*WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Running with the Night- Lionel Richie
Nawa o…a beg i’ll rather sleep at night than run

*WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Jesus is the answer- Simply Worship 1
Yes ke, I want to be more like Jesus each and everyday

*WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Shelter in the Rain- 4Him
Hubsy with God’s help is my shelter!!

*WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
My God- Point of Grace
“My God what a lovely daughter”…I wish! But I presume that is what they think of me now. Not when I was younger sha cuz I was very troublesome

*WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
That somebody was you- Kenny G
This thing dey correct o. Yes baby, it was you all along!

*WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Fill My Cup- Cece Winans
Ah! Shu. Abeg o, Which cup?

*WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Larger than Life- Backstreet boys
LOL..this wan pass me o…is sleeping larger than life??

*WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
The Prayer Anthem- Carman
This thing don catch me. Hmm my secret is that I have not been praying as much as I ought to. Forgive me lord

*WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Spiritual Love Trin-i-tee 5:7
I have agape love for all my friends :)

Finally
*WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
God of Wonders- Cliff Young

Nice one!

That was refreshing..hehehe

Ten things Tuesday (02)

Here's my second list of ten things to be thankful for this past week. You can find a link to my first list here

1. Hubby and I celebrated our six months wedding anniversary on Saturday. It's been a wonderful ride so far!
   
2. For protection against all evil
   
3. Met up with a blogger friend, tolatino this last week. T'was really nice catching up and we talked some bit on what we have in common, wearing braces! I stopped wearing braces about 2 years ago, she wears them now.
   
4. I am getting more confident and comfortable with my driving.
5. My brother in law and his wife had a bouncing baby boy! I am so elated for them
6. My new business idea is forming shape- will fill you in when it becomes a reality. Quite excited
   
7. A good friend of mine got his American student visa
8. For the British high commission in Nigeria going on strike or whatever. Was really upset about this cuz a friend was just about to drop her application for her British visa but couldn't cuz of this strike issue but I still thank God because am sure he knows why this is happening now. I pray they call off this thing soonest!!!!
9. Healing over rashes on my neck and arm. I thought it came as a result of the hay fever drug the doctor prescribed but apparently he says it's another allergy. Whatever! The rashes are clearing up and I am so happy about that!
10. For the joys of womanhood. Don't think I want to elaborate further but I am thankful that I am a woman.

So what are you thankful for?

You don’t have to catch the ball

There’s a new principle I have learnt lately that I will like to share with you. “When someone throws the ball at you, you don’t have to catch it”. Everyday, people (spouses, colleagues, friends, family etc) throw all kinds of balls at us and most of us think it is our duty to catch them. We see ourselves as heroes and pride in the ability to rescue our family and friends when they are in trouble. However when we do this often we sometimes begin to feel resentful, blaming others for taking advantage of us or for not giving us the respect we think we deserve. It is like a vicious cycle- you want to please everyone yet you are not happy because you feel manipulated.

Why do we find ourselves in situations like this? Maybe because we don’t want to look bad or we want people to like us or we simply have a rescuer mentality. It sometimes boils down to the ability to saying no. Before I continue please note that I am not saying we should never be there for our families and friends, what I am saying is that we choose when to be there. That way, we don’t blame others for taking up all our time since we made that choice to be available in the first place. The funny thing is when we choose not to catch the ball, the person will bounce their ball to someone else who eventually will catch it (shows you are not the only one in the world that can help).

Saying no does not mean you reject the person it simply means you reject the task or whatever it is they want you to get involved in. This is where assertiveness comes in. I read somewhere that assertiveness is “your ability to know who you are and what you stand for - and then to express these qualities effectively in everyday interactions with other people”. Assertiveness is a skill we all have to learn as it does not come to us naturally. People generally lean towards passiveness (trying to keep peace at all times) or aggression (resorting to violence when saying no). Assertion increases constructive communication and relationship between people.

The consequence of being assertive is that people respect your feelings and your boundaries. You know you have a right to express your opinions or beliefs even when it contradicts what others are saying or what they want you to do.

One area where most of us see ourselves catching the ball is picking up our mobile/phone when it rings. It's a strange one but it is true. Mobile phones can be a BIG time stealer. We pick up the phone and sometimes get involved in idle chats and later on realise that we haven't achieved much either at work or with the house chores. Sometimes when I am doing my house chores and my phone rings I let it ring out. My hubby gets upset with me when I do this but I tell him it is my mobile phone and I can choose to answer it or not. Besides I can always call this person back. More often than not if the call is really important the caller either leaves a message on my voicemail or sends me an sms. This is not to say I don't appreciate my friends or I don't want people calling me but I have learnt that I am in control of my time and can't catch the ball at that time. Speaking of which, I need to return some calls I missed this weekend!

Anyway, I hope you get the point I am trying to make. It might not apply to everyone but am sure someone out there needs to read this. Next time I will be talking about some assertiveness tips for everyday life. Meanwhile enjoy your week and remember when someone throws the ball at you, you don't have to catch it.