Merry Christmas to you all!!!

source

Matthew 1:21

New International Version (NIV)

²¹ She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

Christ is the reason for the season. He came to die that I may have eternal life. I am forever grateful.


May the true meaning of Christmas be made known to each and everyone of us.


God bless! & Merry Christmas!!!!!


PS- I am braving myself to make that Christmas Chicken Roast. :)

Not feeling Christmassy....

9 days till Christmas! Yet, I am not feeling “Christmassy” AT ALL- whatever that means. My colleagues at work keep asking "so have you done your Christmas Shopping?" Chris-tmas what?? Ya! Another means for them shops to get my hard earn currency right?

I was going to get a Christmas tree and some decorations but thought Princess will not let this Christmas tree rest, so that idea went down the drain. I'mma still get some decorations.

I was going to get a Christmas Chicken/Turkey to roast for the family on Christmas day, but I have never roasted a whole bird before in my life. What if it comes out a mess. Ok calm down-I could look up recipes- google is my friend and it can’t be that bad! A Question for cook experts!! – So Christmas day is on Sunday; do I leave the bird in the oven while we go to church? Or start roasting when I get back?? This is all assuming I buy the bird in the first place!!! Phew

I was going to do some Charity stuff this Christmas, all in the spirit of giving, but still haven't gotten round to that. Shame on me! Ok I still have 9 more days. Make a plan girl.

We were going to meet up with friends at their place on Boxing Day but due to circumstances beyond their control, that is not happening any more. Gutted! I was so looking forward to that.

Oh well!

Even though I am not feeling Christmassy…I am thankful for the gift of Christ, who in fact is the reason for the season. I am forever thankful HE was born to save me.

Christmassy feeling or not- I will make sure to have a wonderful Christmas day with Baale and Princess :)

So anyone out there like me not feeling Christmassy?

What are y'all doing this Christmas?

Life as a Blind Person- Interview

As a typical Nigerian, the little I "knew" about blind people was that they were illiterates or beggars on the street till I met Dr Ife Akintunde, when I went to do my masters in Lancaster. My perception changed completely. Ife is one of the most inspiring, intelligent, lovable, always willing to help and loving person I have met in my life (he is a blogger as well). He might not know but he inspires and motivates me. I learnt a lot from him during my one year in Lancaster, one of which is you can live a purpose fufilled life even with a disability.

I have been wanting to blog about my dear friend for a while now but didn't know where to start as there is so much to write about him so I decided to interview him. I was chuffed when he agreed to let us into his world. Thank you Ife!!!!

A bit of warning- this is a long read but I assure you totally worth it.

Ok let me not make this post any longer. Enjoy the interview.

"I love everything about YOU"

Yesterday was Baale’s birthday. Even though we drive each other crazy some a few times, we certainly make the best team. In order not to go into any long stories, I will simply dedicate this song by Darlene Zschech to him which summarises how I feel :)


Love you babes!


I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU

You chased me
I caught you
so glad we found each other
We whispered forever
to share our lives together
to watch our dreams unfold


And I love everything about you
everything you are
You'll catch a falling star
if I asked you
And I couldn't live a single day without you
You hold me in your arms
and once again, I know
that I'm the only one for you


The way you laugh, the way we dance
the way you hold my hand
the way you give, the way you kiss
the way you look at me
make life beautiful


Oh, I love the light that shines in your eyes
when you talk about our girls girl
and love the way you smile when they she walks  into a room

Oh, I love how you care about brokenness
how injustice moves your heart enough
to make a change
You give all you are

I love everything about you
You hold me in your arms
and once again I know
that I'm the only one for you
the only one for you
the love of my life
So glad I found you

M4WDMRSK9TJG

"The Small Print"- a debut novel by our own Bimbylads

A lot of the veteran bloggers would know Bimbylads. She used to blog way way way back. I followed her blog religiously then as I like her writing style and her posts were so funny! She always had one humurous story to share with us. She went off blogsville for a (long) while and came back with two surprises- a baby girl and a debut Christian novel called The SMALL PRINT!

I am so excited about this novel and I look forward to reading it. I have read the first chapter and all I can say is WOW.  Bimbylads is currently organising a blog tour and I thought it would be a honour to host her on my blog by having an interview about her and her book. Please read and enjoy.

Natural Hair Anniversary (Hairversary)

It is my natural “hairversary” today i.e 3 years since I did the big chop. Woohoo!!! Gosh it has been such a roller coaster but I am still going strong. Just recently, I made a commitment to consciously grow my hair especially around my edges which don chopped off due to constant braiding and weaves (sigh). I am getting to know my hair more and techniques that work for natural hair. I am also on a mission to grow my hair and retain length.




Aloted rocking a Bantu knot-out updo.
Self-Styled :)

 I am thankful for natural hair blogs run by Natural Nigerian, ilola and Coilybella (just found her a few days ago) which I stalk follow consistently.  I follow a few African- Americans on Youtube but these girls can like oppress someone with their long flowing natural volumious hair… phew!!! sigh! So it is very comforting to find my fellow Nigerians who are running things. (Not that Nigerians can't grow long volumious hair but for some reason I can't explain I feel the Americans have special hair genes.) You ladies rock. Learning so much from y’all. I was excited to find coilybella's blog as we have similar type of hair (fine-hair)and she blogs specifically for what she does to maintain "our" type of hair.

By the way, NN is organising a natural meet up in Lagos this Nov. So if you are in Lagos please check her blog for more details. I gather it is not just a meet up specific to natural hair but natural products and natural living as well.

I remember Vera hosted a radio talk show a while ago about teamnatural vs teamrelaxed. It was so hilarious and some comments from both teams were like wow..ok…slow down. Even though technically I am teamnatural because I have natural hair, personally I don’t see myself as a "conc" teamnatural as it is not a “if you are not for me, you are against me” type thing. I see myself as teamaloted as I do what's best for me :)

Ladies, and men…keep rocking you :)

Thots,
Aloted

PS. conc= concentrated

Thankful Post- Princess

Monday- OCt 17 was Princess' 2nd birthday. She had a wonderful day, I believe. I just want to thank God for her life. She amazes me every single day. She is becoming her own person. Before you know it she will be off to college. sigh

My prayer as a mother for her include:

-She will know Christ as her personal Lord and Saviour at an early age.

-God will continue to protect her against any harm in any shape or form. As the mountain surrounds Jerusalem so shall the Lord surround her always. The devil will have no hold over her life

 -As she grows older, God will give her wisdom to choose her friends wisely. She will have a spirit of discernment of people's true character. She will know the difference between right & wrong and choose the right way.

-She will stay pure- in mind and in body. She will be a woman of virtue.

-She will not wander into cheating, stealing or lying. If she does, she will be caught and will learn from it.

- In school, she shall be the best. She will be sociable, she will be the head and not the tail

-When it is time for her to choose a spouse, she will choose a MAN (not a woman) from a godly home, the bone of her bone. A man with an appetite for spirtual truth. A man who fears God. They will both have similar goals and purposes in life.

- She will fufill the destiny and purpose for which she was brought into this world for.

I pray for myself that God will give me the grace to be the best mother to her, to live by example and be her role model.

What are you thankful for?

Thou shall not argue in front of the children

So three people I tagged on the blow your trumpet post have chickened out and  informed me that it is too hard to blow one's trumpet (sigh). Should I call them out? Ok, ok I will help them save face. I know it is not easy to blurt out great stuff about yourself just like that however I hope they get round to doing it, even if they don't publish for the whole world to see. Many thanks to those who have blown their trumpet- GNG, Myne Whitman, Writefreak




Anyway moving on to today's post. I have a question for y'all- there is a school of thought that says never argue in front of your children. Ever heard that? I have, almost all my life. So, I was watching a Christian Women programme the other day and one of the ladies had another school of thought- Argue in front of the kids! That way they can learn how you resolve issues instead of making everything appear rosy dosy all the time. They went on to say because many people never saw their parents argue or because most arguments were resolved (or not) behind closed doors most people grow up not knowing how to resolve issues. And then the cycle continues.

So I'll like to know your thoughts- to argue or not to argue in front of the kids? This doesn't include shouting and beating each other up o in front of the kids (not that this should be happening at all). Think this only covers arguing amicably (thats possible, right?)






I look forward to your comments. I now declare the floor open :)
 
photo credit: www.cartoonstock.com

Thankful Post

It has been a loooong while I did a thankful post. I used to do it on Tuesdays but today is Wednesday. Since I feel like doing it now, I will and decide later what day of the week I'll like to do it. Fair enuff? To many dos, doing, did..phew...anyway here goes-

• I am thankful for the gift of life. I can never stop being thankful for this. I keep hearing of people dying all around but I am still here, and as long as I have breathe I will praise the Lord.

• I am thankful for Baale, he is the best thing that has happened to me. I am thankful for his love, friendship, care. He is a GREAT man and I love him :)

• I am thankful for Princess. She is a delight and is destined for greatness. She turns two in a few weeks. How time flies!

• I am thankful for provision. God has been faithful and he will never put me to shame.

• I am thankful for the ideas God has given me and I believe since he gave me these ideas he will provide the resources to implement them.

• I am thankful for my friends- blogger family inclusive. Y'all rock!

What are you thankful for?

Btw, I have decided to tag the following people in my Blow your trumpet post. Y'all didn't think I was joking right. LOL.

GNG

One + the one

Naijamum in London

Doll

Madame Sting

Favored Girl

Tyger

Nefertiti

Natural Nigerian

Myne Whitman

The only thing I ask is that you pls mention my post and link to it when you do your post. You can tag anyone if you like. Let's blow this trumpet!!!

Thots
Aloted

419 Reasons to Like Nigeria

For too long, Nigeria and Nigerians have been readily associated with the online scams, financial crime and impersonation - termed ‘419’. However, beyond the unfortunate stereotyping, there are several positive characteristics and cogent intriguing traits of the country, Nigeria and its people, some of which are highlighted below as part of the ‘419 Reasons to Like Nigeria’ campaign which enlisted 100 volunteers and bloggers to share reasons why they like Nigeria. These reasons echo the voices of Nigerians, with resonating similar themes. The campaign is being facilitated in partnership with ‘The 419Positive Project’.

The full list of ‘419 Reasons to Like Nigeria’ is available here

The list of contributors to ‘419 Reasons to Like Nigeria’ is available here

If you would like to say something positive about Nigerians and Nigeria, please do so here.

 NIGERIA - THE LAND OF POTENTIAL AND OPPORTUNITY

• I like Nigeria because it is a land of endless opportunities and possibilities. Nigeria is one country I believe the world is yet to experience it true potentials. I believe Nigerians are sharp, brilliant and accommodating people. Giving the right enabling environment the world will marvel at what Nigeria will become.

• Nigeria is the most populous black nation - and a buying one at that. From a capitalist point of view, this makes for a great investment opportunities.

• The fact that Nigeria currently lags behind so much - in infrastructure and developmental terms - hints at the size of the potential for innovation and transformation, and at the huge number of vacancies that exist for 'transformers'. What I think this means is that the world will be hearing a lot about Nigeria and high-achieving Nigerians (in the public and private sectors) in the near future.

NIGERIA - THE COUNTRY

• The Nigerian Green and White flag is a notable national symbol. The green color symbolises agriculture, seeing that the country is endowed with masses of arable land, while the white colour signifies unity and peace. Other national symbols include the Nigerian Coat of Arms, which depicts an eagle on a black shield, tri-sected by two wavy silver bands, and supported on either side by two chargers. The national motto underlies the coat-of -arms: "Unity and Faith, Peace and Progress." Her national symbols convey great meaning to its people.

• The Nigerian accent is currently ranked by CNN Global Experiences as the 5th sexiest accent in the world.

• Nigeria is home to Nollywood, one of the world's biggest film industries.

NIGERIA - THE CULTURE, THE FOOD, THE WAY OF LIFE

• Something great to like about Nigeria is our cultural diversity. A strong affinity exists, despite our differences. Learning about other ethnic cultures in my country really helped me personally relate to other cultures when abroad.

• I think the food is tastier in Nigeria than that I have found in other countries.

• Nigerians live a communal life style. The extended family is part of the immediate family in a Nigerian home.

  

NIGERIA - THE MUSIC, THE MOVIES, THE DANCE, THE ART

• Nigeria has produced many world class musicians. A notable mention in this regard is Fela Anikulapo Kuti. A Broadway show titled ‘FELA!’ was produced in 2009 depicting the life and times of the Afrobeat musician. 

• Nigeria’s movie industry, Nollywood, is reputedly the 3rd largest film industry after Hollywood and Bollywood, and has grown gradually into a $250 million industry in more than 10 years.

•  Nigerian indigenous musical instruments are unique, soulful and rhythmic. They comprise the popular Talking Drum, producing proverbial and storytelling sounds, the Shaker (shekere), the Udu drum, the Lute, the leg and arm Rattle, the Omele, the Ogene (Gong originating in Eastern Nigeria), the Ekwe drum and the Kakaki (A 4m metal trumpet popular in Northern Nigeria). Many of these instruments have been incorporated in South American music over the years

 NIGERIA - GEOGRAPHY and NATURAL RESOURCES 

• Nigeria is a nation blessed with rich human and natural resources. As the 8th largest exporter of Oil in the world, with the 10th largest proven reserves, our blessings cannot be overemphasised. No earthquakes, no tsunamis, no droughts, an evergreen land. The rest of the world should live here.

•  The beauty of the Nigerian state cannot but leave one in awe. Blessed with captivating physical features and abundant wild life. From the rolling hills to the vast plains in the North Central Nigeria and the forests in the South, the beautiful scenery of the country is more than breathtaking and with the wildlife spread all over the country; Nigeria is surely a beauty to behold and a tourist's delight all year round.

• Nigeria is blessed with tremendous agricultural resources. Cotton in the North, Cocoa & Oil palm in the south amongst many others. The flag is green for a reason

NIGERIA - WEST AFRICA, AFRICA and THE WORLD

• Nigeria has the largest population of any country in Africa. Approximately 1 out of every 2 West Africans, 1 out of every 4 Africans, and 1 out of every 5 persons of African origin is a Nigerian.

• Nigeria is the largest contributor of troops to the ECOWAS Monitoring Group (ECOMOG) and by extension, is the largest force for peace and stability in West Africa.

• A Nigerian will stand out anywhere you find him/her, from Libya to London, Tokyo to Timbuktu. Well known examples include Hakeem Olajuwon (Houston Rockets, USA), Olumide Oyedeji (Seattle Sonics), Tunde Baiyewu (Lighthouse Family), Sunday Adelaja (Ukraine), Chris Aire (US), etc.

  

 NIGERIA - INDUSTRIOUS, INNOVATIVE and ENTERPRISING, with ACHIEVEMENTS 

• Nigerians are intelligent, brilliant minds who have proven their mettle in various fields - Wole Soyinka was the first African to win the much coveted Nobel Prize for literature in 1986. Chinua Achebe’s classic novel ‘Things Fall Apart’ was ranked as number 14 in a list of top 100 books in the world by Newsdesk in 2009. Others include Cyprian Ekwensi, Mabel Segun, Chimamanda Adichie and Helon Habila whose literary works have won both international and local awards at various times.

• We have budding fashion designers. Yes! It's a line every Bunmi, Amaka and Amina has decided to tow but to disregard the effort and originality of our Fashion Designers would be disrespectful. Tiffany Amber, Lanre Da Silva and Deola Sagoe are building world renowned brands, not to mention the legacy developed by the likes of Abba Folawiyo, Maureen Onigbanjo, Remi Lagos and Zizzi Cardow.

•  Nigerians have excelled in the fields of economics and finance, managing well established global bodies. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, the current Minister of Finance, was until recently a Managing Director at The World Bank. Obiageli Ezekwisili is currently the Vice President for Africa at The World Bank. Mr Adebayo Ogunlesi is a first class graduate of Oxford, and Managing Partner of Global infrastructure Partner (GIP), a concessionaire of London’s Gatwick International Airport.

• We take technology and expand it in ways those who created it could not have imagined. For instance, take the BlackBerry Messenger (BBM) which allows you to send broadcast messages to all addresses on your contacts list; Nigerians recently found a unique way of advertising the different businesses they do. Someone started a message highlighting the fact that many people in Nigeria are entrepreneurs or provide a service and included his BB PIN in the message and sent to all his contacts with the charge that they state the service they provide, include their PIN and send on to all their contacts too. This seemingly small campaign has gone “viral” with whole lists of entrepreneurs and their BB PINs being passed from phone to phone. This is a clear sign of the ingenuity of Nigerians!

 NIGERIA – GREAT PEOPLE  

• Nigeria is the 7th most populous nation in the world (over 160 million) and most populous in Africa - a gold mine of energetic, determined and talented people in each and every field. From Lagos to Aba to Kano, the Nigerian business spirit and desire to succeed is visible. It requires just proper harnessing of these human resources before Nigeria becomes the super power she was meant to be.

•  Nigerians are passionate, friendly, welcoming, hospitable, and well cultured people. The average Nigerian reflects a combination of vivacity, intelligence, energy, talent, and resolution.

• We are a nation of people that can hardly hide their excitement at seeing family and friends. Some misconstrue this thinking we are loud but let's just say we are EXPRESSIVE! If you see us on the streets of New York making a big ruckus and hugging? No sweat. We are just happy to see each other.

NIGERIA – THE RESILIENT SPIRIT 

• The Giant of Africa: Not ignoring the current challenges, eventually, when we get our acts right, we will reign supreme on the global scene. We have the potential and as is much touted by the Warri people - "Naija no dey carry last"

•  The 'survivor-mentality' hard-wired into the DNA of Nigeria's people. The fact that against all the odds (and there are many of them), Nigerians continue to live, hustle and seek to triumph. It is not by mistake that Nigeria is regarded as one of the "happiest" countries in the world, despite its challenging economic and social conditions.

• We are hardy. The average Nigerian does business under circumstances that are unimaginable to people from other parts. In a place where there is no power, no credit, and scant regulation, people do business and do very well for themselves too. If you can make it in Nigeria, you can make it anywhere in the world.

NIGERIA – TOURISM and SPORTS

• Nigeria is an amazing tourist haven and is home to the Obudu Cattle Ranch, located in Calabar. It is only 45 miles from the Cameroon border. The Obudu Plateau is spread over 40 sq. miles and is 5,200 feet above sea level. The Obudu resort features a Gorilla Camp where tourists may observe gorillas in their natural habitat.

• Nigeria has two UNESCO world heritage sites, the Osun Osogbo Sacred Grove and the Sukur Cultural Landscape in Adamawa. UNESCO world heritage sites are places designated as being of cultural significance.

•  Nigeria has produced great footballers like Teslim “Thunder” Balogun (the first Nigerian to play for an English Club – QPR), Segun Odegbami, Muda Lawal, Stephen Keshi, Rashidi Yekini (who scored Nigeria’s first ever goal at the World Cup), Nwankwo Kanu, Austin 'Jay Jay' Okocha, John Mikel Obi, Osaze Odemwingie, to mention but a few.

•  Nigeria has excelled in athletics over the years, still holding continental records in the 100m men and women, 4x100m men and women, 400m men and women, among others. Over 100 skilled Nigerian professional footballers played in First Division leagues in different countries all over Europe in the 2010/2011 season, 9 in England; 8 each in Finland, Norway; 10 in Ukraine and 7 in Sweden.

NIGERIA – UNITY in DIVERSITY

• Nigerians, despite our diversity are a united people who always strive to help one another. With 774 local government areas, multi religious and ethnic affiliations, 36 States, and population of over 160 million, we still stand undeterred to move forward together.

• Even outside the country, Nigerians remain united. This gives a quiet assurance somewhat that you can get on a plane and go to any country of the world and find a Nigerian there who will not only make you feel welcome but will go out of their way to be of really good help. I have experienced this several times on my travels and each time it amazes me how all I need to be is a Nigerian, not Igbo, Yoruba or Hausa and once I run into another Nigerian, I will immediately feel at home.

• Our greatest strength lies in our diversity.

  

The ‘419 Reasons to Like Nigeria’ Campaign is in partnership with ‘The 419Positive Project’.

Blowing My Trumpet

The other day Nolimit and I were talking about how it is very very easy to find negative things to say about ourselves yet difficult to find positive things to say. Society has taught us to focus on the negative and not to blow our trumpets. Some times when people pay me comlipments I would think they want to get someting from me with no hidden agenda! It was hard to believe they actually meant those things.  I would even say something negative to make them change their mind about that good thing! Nowadays I am learning to say thank you and move on.

We need to credit ourselves more and know that we are full of "good stuff". Wonderfully made with talents by God!

Anyway back to Nolimit She came up with an idea- she was going to blog about 10 things she was proud of about herself. You know, ten positive things about Nolimit. I thought it was brilliant idea and decided I was going to do same. I don't know if she has done it yet but I look forward to reading about Nolimit blowing Nolimit's trumpet. hehe

So here I am about to put myself out there.  No "but this or but that",  just 100% positive content. Honestly, you don't have to agree with me on any of the points but this is Aloted blowing Aloted's trumpet in the most positive way ever!  :)

1) I am a very good cook. I actually find cooking therapeutic. I paticularly love cooking jollof rice, fried rice, any type of rice really and efo elegusi and I have been told they are t'oh bad (GOOD). I have also been picking up some new recipes from 9jaFoodie.

2) If I need any information about anything I will find it. I love researching and finding out new things. I have had a number of people ask for my help when they need information about something and 99% of the time I get the information they need.


3) I am very determined and result oriented. When I put my mind to something or set a goal I always achieve it by God's grace

4) I know how to manage money. Infact I am the financial secretary of the Aloted household.


5) I have great organisational skills. I am very good at organising events, trips, meetings. I get commended at work for organising my meetings and workshops efficiently.


6) I consider myself a loyal friend.


7) I am excellent with using Microsoft Word, Excel, Access, Visio and Powerpoint. I self taught myself and always find a way round any problems on these application.


8) I think I have something called Practical Intelligence, which according to Robert Sternberg is "the ability to adapt to everyday life by drawing on existing knowledge and skills. Practical intelligence enables an individual to understand what needs to be done in a specific setting and then do it." This has helped me a number of time at work especially when I have no understanding of the project. This  also helped me during my Msc in Operational Research, where for more than half of the time I was very clueless on the subjects but I managed to pass all my exams.


9) I look way younger than my age. I used to find this very annoying before especially when some people try to take advantage of me but now I find it rather amusing and will even find it more appealing when I turn 40 and look 25 30 ;)

10) My eyes are probably my best physical feature. Chinese looking eyes (yes o!). Princess inherited them from me which makes her an absolute cutie. lol


Phew, this was actually harder than I thought. I had to thinkkkk. lol. Negatives thoughts kept coming but I make sure I edited and re-edited just to keep it all positive yet truthful.


Ok so now it is your turn ( you knew this was coming, didnt you??). If you enjoyed reading my 10 positive points above, then go on over to your blog and blow your trumpet.  Please let me know when you do so I can go read. I will tag a few people if nobody conforms o.

Much love,
Aloted


photo credits- google images.

I have a new best friend- on blogville!

Most of you already know I have been natural for the past 3 years. If you don't then you can read all about that here.  Recently I have set hair/skin goals for myself and one of them is to use more natural homemade products on my hair/skin. As a result I have been doing a lot of research online about natural oils, how to make my own hair and skin conditioners, spritz, moisturisers etc. Not only is it ultimately cheaper, it is safer and healthier for me and princess.

The good thing about having a daughter is that she can be your guinea pig test subject. When I mix up my deep conditioners, I try it out on princess. Don’t worry I try it out as well (I can see all you defender of princess). The other day I mixed up coconut oil and honey to do a deep conditioner, I let it sit in hot water for 1 mins, put it on our hair , wrapped hair in cling firm for 20 mins, washed it off and then shampooed. Viola! Our hair came out really really soft and moisturised.

Ok I have digressed o as this isn’t the essence of this post. So yes from my research I discovered Natural Nigerian’s blog. Gosh, her blog is so informative and educative. I just learnt how to cleanse my face with the oil cleaning method (OCM) from her blog! OCM is amazing. The thing that also trips me is that she has a daughter as well so another opportunity to learn more stuff from her on how to take care of Princess' hair.

I have already told her on her blog she is my new blogville best friend but thought let me better shout it out on my blog as well, so she knows I am for real. Let the stalking friendship begin! :).

Natural Nigerian- thank you for taking time to blog and educate other Naturals about how to take care of their hair using your experience.

PS1- I think her tips can also work for team relaxed :D

PS2- I might share some of my natural hair goals and what I am doing with y'all later on.

God bless!

On Suspence and Thriller Books

This post was inspired by Tomexy of Diary of a Media Junkie. She made valid points about how romantic books can mess with your mind if you let them. Unlike Tomexy, I grew up reading a lot of detective series and novels. When some girls in secondary school were busy fighting over M&B (mills and boons), or Jackie Collins x-rated books, I was busy looking for detective books as they intrigued me. I found romantic books rather predicable. Same old story- boy meets girl, girl acts hard to get, boy wins girl over, and everything is rosy in la la land. A test of true love occurs, will they survive? Yes they always did! 99% of the time! Phew! After reading my first two three M&B to see what the hype was about and there wasn't any apart from unnecessary arousing, I moved back to my suspense and thriller books! Now note, I do not do horror books or movie, they freak me out. However books on solving mysteries & crime did it for me.


Anyway, I got initiated to the Famous Five; they were a joy to read, always going off on one adventure or the other. Then gradually I moved to Nancy Drew. I think I read all the series. She was like my role model then, I wanted to become a detective and solve mysteries. She also had a cute boyfriend (he was cute in my mind) to top up the matter :)


As I grew older (teenage years), amongst other books, I read Sidney Sheldon (all his books I think), then moved on to James Hadley Chase (JHC) and James Patterson. That was when trouble started. Ok before I go into that, anyone that has seen a JHC books know that the cover almost always has a picture of a half naked woman (the ones I saw and read). Why on earth I do not know. The pictures put me off the book as I though it was porno material. But a friend convinced me otherwise, so I decided to try it out. OMG, I got hooked! Chei! JHC is a baba mastermind when it comes to crime. It was a world of danger, theft, lying, murders and all the bad bad things in this world. I felt compelled to turn the pages quickly to reach the end of the book to find out who the killer was or how the killer got away. So much twists and tension! After some time, I started to become paranoid, yet I didn't stop reading them. James Patterson didn't make matters any easy with his psycho stories. I would be walking on the street and start looking at people suspiciously like they are about to attack and abduct me or something.

Anyhoo, one day I decided to put an end to it with the help of the Holy Spirit. I was beginning to live in fear. Even though the books were FICTION they were beginning to have an effect on my REAL life. Besides, my spiritual man was suffering as I was feeding myself with junk. Evil things were beginning to look attractive and normal albeit in fantasy world. I stopped reading all them books, and moved to Christian books, self help books, and inspirational books. Life became much better and saner.

Now please, I am not saying as Christians don't read or read thrillers or romantic books but to be careful not to let them mess with our minds. I still have some suspense books in my "library" which I hope to read some day as I think I am older, wiser and can handle them now. Besides those books don't have any hold over me any more. But emm, I am off JHC books o for life. As in if there a JHC recovered anonymous addict club( ya I just came up with that) I would be a chairwoman in that club. lol

But seriously if we can draw the line and keep a balance to these things, I guess we are good to go. Let the Holy spirit be your guide.

So I'll like to hear from you, did you read a lot when growing up, what type of books did you read? Do you think those books had any effect on you. Do you consciously choose what books to read?

Thanks for sharing!

It's party time!!!!

Remember this post on What I have been up to? Well there's more!!

Calling all chicks, babes, kokolets, mamalets, chikitas etc in London this summer to the latest swap party in town themed - Starve the landfill! It is happening live in North London. Details below-

Date: Saturday, 27th August 2011

Time: 2p.m prompt

Venue: Emerald Suite, the Rock Tower, 49 Tufnell Park Road, N7 0PS

London

18+ only, No children/buggies.

What do we do: An afternoon of Clothes, Shoes, Bags and Books swapping,

fashion/wardrobe advice and networking.

To get in: Come with quality swap worthy items you loved but no longer

need/wear and SWAP them for fabulous treasures from other ladies.

Items with dirt, rips, stains, broken zips, broken heels would not be accepted.

Items that do not meet our quality standard will be rejected.

Mifani shoes will be donating one of their fabulous embellished shoes at the event. Their shoes are worth over £70. Check here for how to enter.

All the event details can be found here

Here's a chance to upgrade your wardrobe without robbing the bank.

Look forward to seeing you there! No dulling o!!!

Please tell your lady friends as well.

Thots,

Aloted

How Time Flies

We are in August already. Geez! Where is 2011 running to?? So much to be done, isn't it?!

The year so far has been eventful, a lot of reasons to rejoice and a few challenges here and there but through it all I know my God is my sustainer of all times. This has kept me going.

I don't really have an update but just to say the soulsistas blog has been resurrected yet again. Writefreak and I have gotten so busy with stuff that it is a struggle to update our own blogs. Hpwever we intend to work on the soulsistas blog as we feel we have a word in season for our single sistas out there. Please bear with us as we put our acts together. We are passionate about women and helping them identify their selfworth. Our partners (or furture partners) are meant to compliment us not complete us. (just thot I'll chip that in)

Please go on over and see the latest post we have for you. Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section. Also if you have any questions or topics you want us to address, just let us know via email thesoulsistas@googlemail.com

God bless y'all

Aloted

Everything is Working Out for your Good

Last week was a very very challenging week for me, I stood for what was right but it appeared to backfire. My faith wavered and I doubted God. On Sunday a friend prayed with me and asked God for mercy. Yes mercy, that was what I needed. By Monday morning, God turned my situation around with just 1 text message and now I have a completely different story. He came through! He surprised me! Woo hoo!!!!!

This post is simply an encouragement to someone out there trusting God for something.

You feel pressured to do the wrong thing because everyone is doing it

You speak the truth but discomfort, pain and rejection follow suit

You pray and pray and that thing you so desire isn't coming forth

HOLD ON!

Do not be discouraged

Everything is working out for your GOOD

Just HOLD ON and TRUST in HIM who knows you and loves you

God is bigger than any mountain or trouble you may be going through.

Even in good times or bad times- HE is STILL GOD. He is Unchangeable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable!!!!!

Cast all your cares on him

He will SURPRISE you much more than you can ever imagine!

Stay STRONG.

Below is the song I am loving now. Heard it in Church this Sunday and it reassured me of God's love. It is all about God..only God.....

Hope it blesses you.

Thots!

Aloted

What Aloted has been up to...

Hi people!

How goes it?? Hope you are all doing well?

You may or may not know about an exciting initiative a friend and I started last year but I would like to share it with you. FabXchange, (formerly known as Wardrobe Swap Party) is a cloth swapping company we started after we both found fashion treasures in each other’s wardrobes that the other didn’t need or wear. We realised that between us, our friends and women in the UK was a mountain of clothes rarely worn and sitting in wardrobes all over the UK.

Think of clothes you have bought in the store but are not exactly your size or don’t have the right fit and you never had the chance to return to the store. Think of clothing items you have worn once and know you will never wear again (because you don't want to be caught in the same outfit at that party lol). Think of quality clothing items in your wardrobe you hardly wear. Such items are what we welcome at our swap parties in the hope that they would go to new owners that would treasure them. We also swap shoes, bags and books.

Our cloth swapping venture gives ladies the opportunity to get new clothes into their wardrobe without going shopping. It also provides the chance to get rid of clothes that are hardly worn, and de-clutter their wardrobe in the process. It is the trendy way to do ‘ethical shopping’ and now ladies concerned with keeping the earth green can keep their carbon footprint down while getting something back.


Our exciting and entertaining cloth swapping parties also feature numerous appealing side attractions such as beauty and makeup giveaways, beauty makeovers, book giveaways, entertainment, fashion advice and the sale of accessories.

We provide other services that might be of interest to you, your friends or community.

We have had three events now and they have all been successful. This is one feedback (amongst others) we received from one of our attendees- "The swap party was full of fun and I made new friends. I got a new black evening dress, a mini jeans skirt (my husband thinks its gorgeous!), a Ralph polo top, just to mention a few. The organisers pulled it off beautifully well and I believe the subsequent ones will only get better. I recommend FabXchange to ladies out there."

More feedback can be found on our website.

As per my blogville family concerned, if this is something you would like to know more about or be a part of, then kindly

• like us on facebook- We are currently doing a giveaway on fb and twitter so maybe that might be an incentive for you;)
• follow us on twitter if you tweet - @fabxchange
• visit our website www.fabxchange.co.uk. follow us there for more details and leave us comments too!

I am seriously counting on you guys o cuz we need your support.... :)

Don't hoard the love, please tell your friends about us, as every woman needs to know how they can look good without breaking the bank!

Our next event is in July or August, God willing. More details will be available on fb, twitter and our web page soon. I hope to see the "Londoners" there or if you are in London then.

Thank you in advance. Any questions or suggestions do drop us an email at info@fabxchange.co.uk or leave your comments here!

Best
Aloted

Re letter to Nigerian Parents and #wePray275

Hi People! Hope you are all doing well? Thank you all for your comments on my last post i.e. the article “A letter to Nigerian parents”. Unfortunately I do not know the author so couldn’t get her to respond but I thought I could share my own views. People made a lot of valid points in the comments so will try not to say much.

Someone mentioned to me the writer should have titled the letter- "A letter to Affluent Nigerian Parents" and then maybe her article will be completely justified. I tend to agree. I don’t think all the examples she provided are valid or would resonate with a large group of Nigerian parents but I agree with the underlying message she was trying to pass across.

As parents we are accountable for how we raise our kids. I read in a book by Dr Robert Anthony- “the greatest gift any parent can give their children is to help them to become self confident by making them self-reliant. Children should be given as much responsibility as they can handle at any age level. Only through independence will they learn the joy and privilege and human dignity of standing on their own two feet”. This I think is one of the points the writer was trying to make. “Overpowering, over permissive or over possessive parents are usually the ones who can turn their child into an emotional cripple.”
There are so many examples one can give but I will go back to my first point. We are accountable for how we raise our kids. The bible tells me if I bring up my child in the way of the Lord he/she will not depart from it. This doesn’t only mean spiritually but mentally, emotionally. Teach them with love and encouragement on how to move from a state of dependency to a state of self reliance. This would help their confidence as they grow up. So by God’s grace I am doing my part and I am holding God to his words to do his part. My children will turn out just right.

Ok moving on to other things, is it me or have you all noticed that there has been a tremendous number of young people dying recently. I started noticing it last year and this year the number has grown exponentially. Almost every week, I hear of a young person’s death. Personally I have lost two friends, I know friends that have lost friends, siblings or partners. This is not right!!! It is not our portion to die young so why is this happening?? I don’t know but I know I can pray about it, stand on and declare God’s word that this would stop. To this effect, a fast as being declared on May 27th, Children’s day to pray against the spirit of untimely death. I got to know about this through someone who lost his cousin recently. I would like to invite you to please join in the fasting and prayer on that day. Let us stand as one and pray this untimely death away. If you can’t fast for whatever reason you can still join us in praying on that day. God says he will hear us if we repent and call on his name. Please spread the word. Pray for yourself, your family, husband, wife, children, partners, siblings and every young person. PRAY as the spirit leads! Prayer is the only way I know so I will PRAY.



Please if you feel led too, you can blog about this to so others can join the fast/prayer. I noticed that Zoe Believer tagged this on twitter as #wepray275. So for those twitter gurus, do your thing- tweet about it with the tag. Who knows it just might trend!

Thanks and God bless.

A Letter to Nigerian Parents

Hello people, I got the below article from a friend of mine and it totally made sense to me. I bow for the author! I just had to share it with y'all. It is a letter addressed to Nigerian parents. As long as you are Nigerian, whether you don naturalise to American, British, Canadian, Chinese werava, a parent, or hope to be a parent one day then this is for you to read. I am sure other nationalities can pick a thing or two from it as well.

Oh it is a bit of a long read but worth it. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts.


Ta!

Happy Easter x

******************************

Friends, Let me add the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK - and I live in Lagos now. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves - including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there - regardless how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same - the exception being those of us status-conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel and, to my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class -even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound Sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this.

There is no aircraft attached to the office of the prime minister in the UK - he travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use. These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton(the lady soon to marry Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there's one core difference them and us(generally speaking). They (even the billionaires among them) work for their money,we steal ours!

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let's begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content, and not having to "steal", which seem to be the norm these days.

"30 is the new 18", which seem to be the new age for testing out the world in Nigeria now. That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in Nigeria. At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.

At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and independent minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment, gets a job and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into becoming fully fledged adults.

I can hear the echo of parents saying, well, that is because the UK economy is thriving, safe, well structured and jobs are everywhere? I beg to differ and I ask that you kindly hear me out. I am UK trained Recruitment Consultant and I have been practicing for the past 10 years in Nigeria. I have a broad range of experience from recruiting graduates to executive director level of large corporations. In addition, I talk from the point of view of someone with relatively privileged upbringing. Driven to school every day, had my clothes washed for me, was barred from taking any part-time job during my A-levels so that I could concentrate on studying for my exams?! BUT, I got the opportunity to live apart from my parents from age 18 and the only time I came back home to stay was for 3 months before I got married!

Am I saying that every parent should wash their hands off their children at age 18? No, not at all, of course, I enjoyed the savings that I made from living on and off at my parent's house in London – indeed that is the primary reason for my being able to buy myself a 3 bedroom flat in London at age 25 with absolutely no direct financial help from my parents!

For me, pocket money stopped at age 22, not that it was ever enough for my lifestyle to compete with Paris Hilton's or Victoria Beckham's. Meanwhile today, we have Nigerian children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying "only" first or business class, carrying the latest Louis Vuitton ensemble, Victoria 's Secret underwear and wearing Jimmy Choo's, fully paid for by their "loving" parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents, my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist! Oh really! So where exactly is this "child" is my usual question. Why are you the one making this call dad/mum? I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and me, chances are that big boy is cruising around Lagos with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad's spanking new SUV with enough "pocket money" to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to have a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but "earns" a six figure "salary" from parents for doing absolutely nothing.
I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skills to sell, apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad's secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question - so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out - N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum. Of course it is per month. Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job? Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel that an employer should be able to pay me more than my parents. I try very hard to compose myself, over parenting is in my opinion the greatest evil handicapping the Nigerian youth.
It is at the root of our national malaise.

We have a youth population of tens of millions of who are being "breastfed and diapered" well into their 30s. Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa! Wake up mum! Wake up dad! You are practically loving your children to death! No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birth right.

I want to encourage you to send your young men and women (anyone over 20 can hardly be called a child!) out into the world, maybe even consider reducing or stopping the pocket money to encourage them to think, explore and strive. Let them know that it is possible for them to succeed without your "help".

Take a moment to think back to your own time as a young man/woman, what if someone had kept spoon feeding you, would you be where you are today? No tree grows well under another tree, children that are not exposed to challenges, don't cook well. That is why you see adults complaining, "my parents didn't buy clothes for me this christmas", ask him/her how old-30+. Because of the challenges we faced in our youth, we are where and what we today, this syndrome- my children will not suffer what I suffered is destroying our tomorrow. Deliberately reduce their allowance or mum-don't cook on Saturday till late afternoon or evening-do as occasion deserve.

I learnt the children of a former Nigerian head of state with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several times because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go, what a life. No one wants to marry them. Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.- Henry Ford. Hard work does not kill, everything in Nigeria is going down, including family settings. It is time to cook our children, preparing them for tomorrow. We are approaching the season in Nigeria where only the RUGGED, will survive. How will your ward fare?

If the present generation of Nigerian pilots retire, will you fly a plane flown by a young Nigerian pilot, If trained in Nigeria? People now have first class, who cannot spell GRADUATE or read an article without bomb blast! Which Way Nigeria!, Which Way Nigerians!! Is this how we will ALL sit and watch this country SINK?